Tag: personal

23.

In search.

So, I officially turned 23 today. Every year seems to be different, mostly in the divergence from the essence of my photography. There are many human regrets but I try not to think of them that way, it helps me cope and move on to cover them as inevitable choices that must have been done to make who I am today. Altho for the young ones who are reading this now, I would like to tell you how I wished I pursued an arts course instead of a practical IT one. I remember how my most favorite subjects during college were maths and arts, but of course, arts over maths. One of the ironies I’ve come to realize in my walk in life is, most young adults don’t really know what they want to do until it’s *almost* too late. Therefore, before you hit university, take a chance to take that course your heart has been shouting about (fashion design, graphic design, music, dance, animation, theatre, film, etc.) no matter how impractical they may seem. Because really, if you’re gonna be so awesomely talented at it, you do have a bright future ahead!

In non-reflective mode, I had a great birth day. Simple and warm; just the condition where my soul thrives in. I love birthdays even when I don’t officially celebrate them because I get to reflect on the years before and the years to come. Also when my family and friends get all happy as if it is their birthday as well (just for that brief moment when they greet you). I haven’t been blogging lately which has been a shame especially since I just refurbished my blog. I am even a day late on my birthday post! But I have been traveling and living life more, which for me has become more important. I can feel the foundation setting and the world allowing me the privilege to be more relaxed and open-minded.

Precious time.

Compared to last year, I haven’t got anything special to give. I’ve been reading more books and researching on a new opportunity to start another chapter in life. I can’t give the details as of yet, but I’m praying for it to come. God is so good and ever faithful, and it comforts me that He is the only stable unchanging subject in my life. The most striking thing I have realized now that I am actually 23 is, time is running and running and I am still not on the road to my goal of giving back to my loved ones. I have chased my dream and made compromises just to commit to this relationship, and I have learned more about myself in the long run. I want to do photography, I love it with all my heart… But I just don’t want to do it solely for money. In short, the conventional way (here in the Philippines) of it supporting me doesn’t make me happy–it kills me! (This is where I realized depression is inversely linked to artistic inspiration).

How many months I was into a normal job, I realized I would probably take 30-50 years to become free enough to pursue fine art. Fine art is tough in the Philippines, I must admit. It’s value is never high enough as the provision of basic needs takes most of the effort out of us. Only the small percentage will not settle for anything less, but most of them will more likely be inclined to the art of buying sports cars and designing mansions.

Somehow after a few client shoots, I found myself uninspired and immobile. I’m thankful for the people I have met and shared conversations with though, the opportunities made me realize what I really wanted to do.

I want to be free to create dreams and stories of my own.

Moved into a snazzy domain & new layout!

Welcome to my new blog, I Will!

How do you guys like it? :) I had a lot of fun tinkering with this. Made me rekindle my interest in web design!

(Fun fact: I made and developed my first dot com when I was in the fourth or fifth grade. I made notes on a Disney Princess drawing book from tutorials by LissaExplains. It was an anime wallpaper site and that’s how I started my Photoshop skills. For the very few of you who might know [YES that’s you Chippy!], please don’t mention it in the comments box, the name was quite embarrassing…)

I used this gorgeous theme called Typominima and tweaked for days just to satisfy. So if any of you guys run into some troubles with the site, please let me know so I can fix it asap. Special thanks to the guys at Blogsessive for creating this theme! Credits are below. My boyfriend, Fritz, for giving me creative reviews and suggestions and also to Gino Gernel for helping me with my CSS dilemmas!

So why the new name? Quite a little story actually… One day I was in the shower thinking about my life (this meditation tends to happen every morning), and I realized that my blog title said a lot about me. “Her Soliloquies” was started because I missed writing, and fittingly named because I was always asking myself questions whether to do or not to do. I realized that I am quite a passive person in real life, in comparison to my ideals and innate passion. So, to make things happen, I needed to change my mindset!

Hurrah and so here is born my new blog, with a new name to always remind me of how I should see things. Not to always be hesitant and wait for things to happen, but to take the initiative and make them happen myself! Sure a lot of people get lucky, but if we sit and wait around to see if that’s us, we’d be missing out on our true potential to create change. This is a personal reminder for me to stop giving up so easily.

So yeah, I’ll end my rant here. I hope all of you will be looking forward to more frequent blog posts now that I have officially quit my office job. Haha!

Please let your friends and family know I’m available for prenups and photography services now. I would really appreciate the support. :) Thank you for visiting my blog! I’ll leave with a recent selfie of me to get me back into taking photos. I kind of look like I came back from the farm annoyed that I have milked some very angry cows. 😛

Will be posting some of my prenup images soon and continuing to work on my main site, anneuy.com.

 P.S. I love WordPress!! It is the answer to all of my blogger woes.

2011.

I must admit, I thought I’d accomplish more things this year. But looking back, I think I’ve done the best I could. Some of the most important life milestones happened for me this year and I think they’ve been more meaningful.

Rounding up from last year’s post, here are some of the things I can actually mark off:
1. Upgrade my camera body (currently having a Canon 350D)
-Oh yea! I now have my 5D Mark ii buddy with me on shoots, although after each one the firm grip gives me hand allergies. Talk about suffering in love.

2. Finally graduate with a Bachelor’s degree of Science in Information Technology
– I did and did so making my family proud. Yay! So glad to finally be done with academics. Although I am thinking of going into a more artsy-fartsy specialized course… Hmmm.

3. Travel more
– Satisfactory. I feel immensely blessed to be able to tour around America. It is a beautiful country. Also, I’m officially able to travel to Manila and Singapore by myself anytime I need so. Independence is sweet.

4. Work outside the country
– Wasn’t able to do this. :( Decided not to push through with my photography apprenticeship in Singapore because it just wasn’t worth it. Tried to get an IT job instead but I lacked the experience… So, that only means there is another path for me. I hope to find it soon! :)

5. Take more editorial jobs
– This I have accomplished many thanks to David Cua from Zee Lifestyle (Cebu) and Katsu Modomo and Shiloah Matic-Ma from Summit Media’s Total Girl magazine (Manila). Thank you for all the opportunities! I am forever thankful.

6. Read more (I currently have like five books in queue)
– Noooo! I think I’ve only finished reading two books this year. 😐 The most recent one being “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bo Sanchez which is a very light and good-hearted read. I keep a copy on my office desk so I don’t lose myself in the monotonous work pace and dullness of a concrete space.

7. Learn how to be independently financially stable
– This is a half slash because I’m getting there… Slowly, but surely. I tend to over budget or under budget at times so I’m still trying to find my own personal way of handling money. I tend to splurge more on food and gadgets/camera stuff than clothes and shoes anyway so it’s probably… Not so bad? Or maybe bad for my fashion sense.

8. Drive better
– This is a year where I’ve actually drove the least. But I can safely crush this out because I’ve driven on a stick-shift and not crash or anything. Not even a scratch or dent. Hee.

9. Learn how to quote on service fees better (For now this is my ultimate weakness)
– Hmm… A lot better than last year, yes. So I guess I can mark this off but it still remains to be practiced.

10. Facebook less
– I hate you! So distracting and entertaining. :)) I wait for the day I tire of Facebook.

11. Write more
– I have actually written a lot more than last year, more stories than blog posts in my secret writing haven. I don’t think they’re any good so I’m not yet ready to reveal the URL. But I think I saw two people I didn’t know follow me, so I wonder how they found it. It’s amazing how some people really know their way around the Internet.

12. Learn how to cook real meals
– Oh nooo. This is probably the least achieved on the list…

13. Dress up more often (not really necessary but it would be nice)
– Maybe I can do this next year.

Things that I want to accomplish next year :
– Work on an idea for a business!
– Travel to a beautiful place
– Visit my mom in Australia
– Write more stories
– Shoot more photostories
– Work on our dream book constantly (perhaps a separate post about this)
– Collaborate with many more passionate people
– Get my own domain name (still thinking about a good one. maybe my full name would be too long for a dot com)

Things that happened this year :
– First editorial, Happy Days Are Here to Stay, published for January 2011 Fashion editorial for Total Girl Magazine
– Shot the Spring/Summer 2011 Campaign for DollFace Cosmetics
– Shot the Summer 2011 Campaign for Mejia Bespoke Shoes
– Shot the June 2011 Fashion editorial for Zee Lifestyle, The Callithump
– Collaborated with The Humanizer for The Male Factor 2011 exhibit
Graduated from university as Cum Laude with a Bachelor’s Degree in Information Technology
– Underwent LASIK to correct my vision
– Shot one of the fashion editorials, The Preservation, for the September 2011 Zee Lifestyle fashion issue
– Shot Raleene Cabrera and Samantha Benitez for Zee Lifestyle’s Fashion Femmes
– Shot three Prefall 2011 Campaigns for What A Girl Wants, Paramanesia, Full Circle and Anonymous
– My shots for Ink’d Tees was around the booth at IT park during the bazaar
– Traveled around America with family
– Got my first ever job at Accenture
– This blog, Her Soliloquies, got published on the Nokia Ovi App site thanks to Charles Julius Tan from Nokia Philippines
– Participated in The Nonsense Society’s awareness film with other artists from around the world
– Collaborated with Cebuano Tours for my photostory, Cleopatra’s Blood Siren
– Shot Lani Pasquet for the January 2012 personalities feature for Zee Lifestyle magazine (to come out next month marking my first cover shoot! So excited!)
– Decided to participate in Artists Wanted’s Year In Review Contest. Please vote for me here!
– And last but not least (beware beware, cheesiness alert), I found a love that’s here to stay forever… :)

Happy New Year to everyone around the world.

22.

Woke up today feeling like its just another day. Folded my blanket, sat on the bed and stared into space. I had to remind myself that today was different. Starting this day, I have to remember to put two 2s on every personal data form I write on.

So being 22, what’s new? I don’t exactly feel like I changed or even aged, but I do know that I am not a student anymore.

And I still like cookies.

I couldn’t think of anything uniquely special to do on this day (I’ll work on it later), so I thought of giving a gift to my followers instead. The gift of Inspiration.

The following are people who have inspired me with their craft and some, their lives and visions. Artists are one of the most interesting people you will meet on earth. Most are passionate and emotional beings in work, love and life. They can have the weirdest or grandest dreams and visions and they will forever fascinate you with their charm.

; Nirrimi
is a 19 year old gypsy from Australia. Her father is Francis Firebrace, an aboriginal elder and one of the last remaining Master Storytellers of his kind. Nirrimi moved out and became a nomad with her lover at the age of 13, traveled and kept shooting. At 16 she was signed into an agency and at 17 she was shooting for Diesel with national and international awards at her belt. I am not sure but she is probably newly 19 now.

She is also a great writer and her view in life is very enchanting.

; Elena Kalis
hailing from the beautiful beaches in the Bahamas, she takes breathtaking underwater imagery. A lot of her works feature her daughter in innocent and sometimes dark situations. I was so psyched that she followed me on Behance! Such an honor. Her works make me dream of shimmering blue waters and endless zero gravity possibilites.

; Zemotion
No introduction is necessary. Many artists were born from the inspiration she has brought into the world. Her work is always polished to perpetual perfection. She is a legend in her own right.

; Jaime Ibarra
Jaime’s works mostly revolve around photographing women in culture, sensuality and pure emotion. He has Synaesthesia (same with Nirrimi) which can explain their vibrant photography and sense of style. Jaime has shot for countless magazines, and is a musician and graphic designer as well.

; Oprisco
I honestly don’t know much about him/her except for the assumption that he’s probably Russian and the fact that he uses film.

I also love the Old Master painters and Pre-Raphaelite painters. A handful of CG artists especially game character designers and scene painters also inspire me as well, but maybe I’ll post those for another day. I get most of my own inspiration from my insomnia and deep dreams. 
I dream so much at times it gets frustrating how I can’t get peaceful quiet sleep. I am guilty of not having to provide an outlet for the release as often as I should.
Inspiration is everywhere, in books, music, nature, culture, life and love. Art is one of the greatest gifts God gave humans. I am more than thankful for this birthday gift.

LASIK + Art Prints + Mailing List

This was supposed to come out the day after my LASIK operation. It’s been three days now. HUZZAH I have now earned the right to join the 20/20 club again. Thank you God!!! The moment you open your eyes the morning after LASIK is truly one of the best feelings in the world.

YES it deserves its BOLD formatting–plus sparkles, fireworks, the best orchestra accompaniment and the choirs of angels singing.

Blind girl is eating McDo fries and icecream blindly.
Thanks to my super boyfriend, Fritz, who became my eyes and legs when I turned handicapped for a day!

Okay maybe not really blind, but it did hurt to open my eyes! Since LASIK is quite a common procedure, and apparently a lot of people are interested in it, I’ve decided to blog about my experience to help give firsthand insight.

Unlike most people my grade (or “power” in some countries) wasn’t drastically high when I decided to have LASIK. At most it was 150 but I already felt so much discomfort from it especially when I can’t really wear glasses when I do shoots. I consulted my doctor about it (Dr. Cymmer Go at the Chong Hua Eye Institute; (032) 2549002) and he said I could undergo the procedure if I passed the screening test.

So obviously I did since I completed the procedure.

Most often the questions people will ask me are, “Did it hurt? How painful was it??” all the while thinking of that scene in FINAL DESTINATION 5 (Come on…).

Anyway, here I’ll outline some of the minor and major stuff that caused the most discomfort in my opinion:

Pre-screening Test:
1. The optometrist POKING your eye with a stylus-looking rod – The thought makes you shiver but in our modern times, anesthesia makes it possible to be as numb as juggernaut! The anesthetic drops totally numbs your eyes so you don’t feel any poking at all (which will be done during the screening test).

2. Little plastic sheets on your tear-ducts – In my opinion was the most uncomfortable 15-minute part of the test!! Coz of course, the aim is to make you feel uncomfortable enough to tear up.

LASIK Procedure (you can have this anytime after passing the test):
1. Before you get to the hospital, you would have already received the papers to be assimilated pre-procedure. In it contains all the possible consequences and unfortunate disasters that may happen during and post-procedure. Basically it’s what most people tell you. You might go blind, lose an eye, worsen your condition instead, yada yada and the like. It was quite long and detailed enough to scare me off the morning of my operation… But I prayed, thought about the many people with successful operations and went on with a brave face, legally declared I understood all consequences so I won’t be suing anyone from the hospital, and affixed my signature on the “waiver” sheet.

So this part isn’t physically discomforting, but it is emotionally! Hahaha. Unlike Internet Terms and Conditions, I think its common sense to read contracts/waivers before affixing our great signatures. We all have to face the facts and not jump the gun (which even sounds suicidal).

2. Lid speculum to keep your eyes open – The metal prongs prevent you from blinking. It did hurt a bit but not excruciatingly… More on discomfort. Pain factor five out of ten. You can actually see the doctor twisting the dial on the side to open your eyes wide.

3. SUCTION ON – is what the nurse said before I felt discomfort again, slowly dimming my vision. I literally went blind for a while but I didn’t ask why (more on I didn’t want to know what was happening to prevent panic haha). Pain factor seven out of ten. So now that it’s over… Is this the part where they cut the top layer of your eye?

4. After the procedure I found my eyelids super heavy (probably stress from the speculum). My vision was super blurry and it hurt to open my eyes wide. I could also feel the “wounds” on my eyes a bit. Best action is to have a deep sleep.

Sleep makes you recover faster.


Oh and I didn’t miss anything (in my opinion, to each his own). The laser doesn’t hurt at all. All I saw was the light with the sound of the machine and laser striking which is actually quite cool to live through. (BUT NEVER AGAIN! Lesson learned.)

TIP: Do NOT roll your eyes! I just found out yesterday I have a blood clot beside my pupil coz I kept rolling my eyes during the procedure. Maybe the laser hit it when it shouldn’t have. :( Couldn’t help it. Eye fiddling hurts! Hopefully sleeping it off will heal it up.

After the procedure the doc gives you plastic glasses (the ones I’m wearing in the picture above) which actually don’t look as bad as I expected. Maintenance drops are included already in a paper bag.

Procedure costs PHP 40-60K on a case-to-case basis and pre-screening is around PHP 3K.

Quite worth it since vision is actually priceless.

Now on to other updates:

I received an email from ArtFlakes inviting me to join their site. After much deliberation I decided to give it a go and make it my printshop in the meantime. They ship worldwide and shipping in Europe takes only at 8-10 days at most (as if it’s important in my case! Haha). You can see the addition on the right panel.

I’ve added only a few prints for now, most probably more on my landscape and sky shots with a few photostory shots. It’s free to join so if you have paintings/digital art/photographs you want to sell as well, why not try? Filling in credit/PayPal details is only asked for when someone makes a purchase from you.

I also added a mailing list function because I don’t exactly update regularly… -_-; So for those actually interested, you can join my mailing list (right panel or below) and receive updates to your email! No need to be disappointed when you visit and there’s nothing new. Heehee.

Sorry if this hasn’t worked for previous subscribers. I didn’t know I had to redirect my blogger feeds to Feedburner. Assumed it was automatic. Please let me know if it still doesn’t work this time! You’ll do me a great favor.

Tis all for now. I have big news coming along but I’m still waiting on it. I’ve got lots of new ideas for shoots as well but I have to let my eyes completely recover first. Happy Sunday everyone! Hope this entry is useful.

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